Review: "My Heart and Other Black Holes" by Jasmine Warga. *Warning, this review may contain spoilers.*
4.5/5
First, let me preface this by saying I didn't know what to expect going into this book. I was in between books on my library hold list, and this one popped up under my library app's "available now" books. I skimmed the goodreads blurb and to be honest, it didn't give me much to go on. The reviews were mixed, with some loving it and others completely hating the book and claiming it mishandled and romanticized depression/suicide.
I understand how some might view it that way; however, as someone who has struggled with depression, I humbly disagree. Depression is not the same for everyone. It is messy, it is like a heavy thundercloud hovering above your head and constantly raining down. What is a realistic response for one person might not be so for another. In that way, I believe that it is plausible for something as trivial as falling in love, or finding someone who sees you for what you could be can be enough to make someone stop and re-evaluate the image that their depression has convinced them to see of themselves. Love isn't a cure-all, but knowing that somebody gives a shit about you can make a world of difference in some cases.
That being said, I believe that Jasmine Warga did a phenomenal job in expressing how it feels (especially as a teenager) to feel hopeless. Her descriptions of what depression is like were realistic to the point that for anyone who hasn't suffered from depression, they might get a good visual idea in their head of what it truly means to suffer from it.
The book follows the story of a sixteen year old girl, Aysel, and a seventeen year old boy, Roman, from neighboring towns. They meet by chance on a website looking for 'suicide partners,' and from there, each of their stories begins to unfold as they hang out together for the purpose of planning their joint suicide. Through the weeks of planning, they become unlikely and unorthodox friends, and Aysel (though she denies it) starts to question her decision to commit suicide. Throughout the book, Warga depicts two very different people with vastly different pasts that have come to the same conclusion - that their lives must end.
This book is a dark and harrowing journey of emotional ups and downs that leads Aysel and Roman to a forked road in which their time spent together sets them on different paths before bringing them back together again in an onslaught of desperation, pain, and in the end, hope for the future. I give it 4.5 out of 5 stars only because there were some loose ends in the story that I would like to have seen cleaned up, especially with Aysel's relationship with her family. I wish there had been more about Aysel going to see her father and how her relationship with her younger sister, Georgia, would be affected by Aysel's recent revelations.
Altogether, I definitely recommend this book, though I would give it a trigger warning for depression/suicidal ideation/attempted suicide.
4.5/5
“What people never understand is that depression isn’t about the outside; it’s about the inside. Something inside me is wrong. Sure there are things in my life that makes me feel alone, but nothing makes me feel more isolated and terrified than my own voice in my head.”
First, let me preface this by saying I didn't know what to expect going into this book. I was in between books on my library hold list, and this one popped up under my library app's "available now" books. I skimmed the goodreads blurb and to be honest, it didn't give me much to go on. The reviews were mixed, with some loving it and others completely hating the book and claiming it mishandled and romanticized depression/suicide.
I understand how some might view it that way; however, as someone who has struggled with depression, I humbly disagree. Depression is not the same for everyone. It is messy, it is like a heavy thundercloud hovering above your head and constantly raining down. What is a realistic response for one person might not be so for another. In that way, I believe that it is plausible for something as trivial as falling in love, or finding someone who sees you for what you could be can be enough to make someone stop and re-evaluate the image that their depression has convinced them to see of themselves. Love isn't a cure-all, but knowing that somebody gives a shit about you can make a world of difference in some cases.
That being said, I believe that Jasmine Warga did a phenomenal job in expressing how it feels (especially as a teenager) to feel hopeless. Her descriptions of what depression is like were realistic to the point that for anyone who hasn't suffered from depression, they might get a good visual idea in their head of what it truly means to suffer from it.
The book follows the story of a sixteen year old girl, Aysel, and a seventeen year old boy, Roman, from neighboring towns. They meet by chance on a website looking for 'suicide partners,' and from there, each of their stories begins to unfold as they hang out together for the purpose of planning their joint suicide. Through the weeks of planning, they become unlikely and unorthodox friends, and Aysel (though she denies it) starts to question her decision to commit suicide. Throughout the book, Warga depicts two very different people with vastly different pasts that have come to the same conclusion - that their lives must end.
This book is a dark and harrowing journey of emotional ups and downs that leads Aysel and Roman to a forked road in which their time spent together sets them on different paths before bringing them back together again in an onslaught of desperation, pain, and in the end, hope for the future. I give it 4.5 out of 5 stars only because there were some loose ends in the story that I would like to have seen cleaned up, especially with Aysel's relationship with her family. I wish there had been more about Aysel going to see her father and how her relationship with her younger sister, Georgia, would be affected by Aysel's recent revelations.
Altogether, I definitely recommend this book, though I would give it a trigger warning for depression/suicidal ideation/attempted suicide.
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